Not all referrals are created equal.

Some referrals will grow your bottom line and help take your business to the next level.

Some will waste your precious time and energy.

That’s why I advise my clients to accept only “5-star” referrals.

So what is a 5-star referral you may ask? Signs of that a referral are 5-stars are:

• The referral fits your ideal customer profile (willing/able to pay, industry/profession, growth opportunities, excellent potential source of referrals, likely to become a core customer, and do on)
• Your referral source has given you a glowing recommendation
• They are genuinely excited about the prospect of working with you
• They demonstrate their willingness and desire to work with you through their actions (they contact you, show up for meetings on time and prepared, etc.)

Even if you aren’t getting as many referrals as you want, I urge you to be discerning about whether or not you pursue referrals that are anything less than five-star.

Why Only 5-Star Referrals?

• Opportunity Cost. Some business owners ask me, “Why shouldn’t I pursue a referral that isn’t a great fit? It’s not like my phone is ringing off the hook”

Even if you don’t spend a penny pursuing a less than ideal referral, there is always a trade off in your time and energy. I can guarantee that there are better, more profitable things you could be doing for your business.

• Less than ideal referrals that become customers are a business liability.

Take a moment or two and think about a previous or current customer who was a bad fit for your business. How much time did you spend trying to fit your products, processes, and style to the customer’s needs? How many 5-star customers could you have served with that time and energy?

• You risk losing your source of referrals. Let’s say a customer who is a raving fan of yours sends you a less than perfect referral and that referral becomes a less than perfect customer. Do you think the referred customer will thank the person who referred them and tell them how much they appreciate learning about your business? Probably not. In fact, they may complain to the referrer “How could you send me to Joe? He doesn’t know what he’s doing!”

The main reason people give referrals is to look good. They look good when the person they refer is a great fit for your business and that person comes back to them full of appreciation for the referral.

When a referral works out badly your referral source feels like their credibility is on they line. They don’t feel like they look good to their peers and they may avoid sending you additional referrals no matter how well qualified simply because they don’t want to risk further damage to their reputation.

Talk Back

What kind of experience have you had with referrals? If you ended up with a referral who became a problem client or customer how did you handle it? Click here to share your comment. 

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Quick Jeopardy fans, here’s the answer:

Warm milk, lullabies, and most 30-second introductions

If you said, “What are things that put people to sleep?” you are right!

Here’s how most people I meet introduce themselves:

“Hi, I’m (insert your first and last name) and I’m a (insert your title).

Sometimes they add the company they work for as in:

“Hi, I’m John Smith, I’m a Realtor with Big Realty.”

If you introduce yourself this way perhaps you wonder what’s wrong. Everyone you meet introduces themselves this want and it seems perfectly fine to you.

Here’s the problem: you didn’t answer the other person’s big question. The question that, if you answer it, will immediately perk them up and want to know more about you.

The question is, How can you help me get rid of a problem that is giving me a lot of trouble?

Now, I doubt you will ever meet someone who will ever ask you this question right after they say “Hello.” It would seem rude and dissrespectful.”

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t answer their question.

So how do you tell people what they really want to know?

Here is one way to do it and to do it gracefully.

When you introduce yourself substitute a very short description of who you help and the problem you help them with. For example:

Ho Hum Introduction: “Hi, I’m Ben Smith, I’m a Real Estate Broker with Remax of Cherry Hills.”

Interest-getting Introduction: “Hi, I’m Ben Smith, I help new home buyers find a perfect first home.”

Now it’s your turn. Think about how you typically introduce yourself in business situations and see if you can change your introduction so that you answer the other person’s question about how you can help them.

If you’re stuck, I invite you to add a comment with your typical introduction along with brief description of your target customer or client and the problem you help them with and let’s see how we can liven it up.

And if you’ve have a introduction that makes people say “wow, tell me more,” share it in your comment.

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When it comes to referrals, the most frequent request I get from small business owners is “Do you have a script I can use when I ask my customers to send me referrals?”

Why a script? Because it can feel so darn awkward to ask customers for referrals! And when we feel awkward we either don’t ask at all or we ask in a way that is so vague or abrupt that we don’t get the results we want.

I don’t use a script to ask for referrals–at least not the detailed type of script most folks have in mind. For that reason, I don’t have much in the way of scripts to offer when people ask.

Instead I use a simple four-step process to educate my customers around how and when to send me referrals. Why “educate?” Because if you are like me, you have clients who really, really like your work and want you to be successful. But they may not know exactly how to help.

This process is a great way to help your customer do what they want to do: help you and look good at the same time.

Four Steps to Painless Referral Requests

Step #1 Make a Commitment to Tell Your Customers You Want Them to Send You Referrals

This step is more a mind shift step than one that requires specific activity. I find that when I shift my focus from worrying about how I will ask to the fact that I am going to ask, I stop spinning my wheels trying to make so many decisions at once.

Try it out and you’ll see what I mean.

Step #2 Use Specific Situations and Problems to Help Your Customers Identify Good Referrals

If your referral sources don’t know what a good referral is for you and how to identify a good referral, it will be difficult for them to come up with people to send you.

This may seem counter-intuitive to you because you would think the fewer constraints you give them, the more likely that your referral sources will find someone to send you.

The problem is that when you give people too many choices, they get overwhelmed and simply don’t choose at all. A few qualifications actually makes it easier for your customers
and colleagues to identify a few specific situations that might be good referrals for you.

Example: Massage Therapist
A massage therapist I know tells her referral sources that she offers pre- and post-natal massages. Women who are pregnant and complain about back pain and muscle pain are
great referrals for her as are moms who have recently given birth and need a little baby-free rest and relaxation.

Step #3 Plan How You’ll Make Your Request

This isn’t exactly a detailed script but it will help you plan how you will ask so that you have confidence around what you will say.

Here’s the format:

“When you talk with someone who is struggling with (situation you identified in step #2)
tell them you know someone who helps people (brief description of the results you help your customers achieve.)

Here’s the massage therapist who offers pre- and post-natal massage would use this format when she talks to her customers.

“When you are talking to a mom-to-be who mentions she is having trouble with back pain, tell her you know a massage therapist who helps pregnant women with back pain. Sometimes their back pain goes away completely!”

Some issues to consider when you adapt this format to your own business:

• Remember that you are coaching your customer on what to say and do when they are with someone who might be a good referral for you.
• Keep it conversational. The point is to ask for referrals in a way that is natural and comfortable.
• Talk about results NOT process. Notice in the example the massage therapist doesn’t say “I use Reiki and hot stone massage to help pregnant women with back pain.”

Your referral sources can only remember so much about you and your business. It’s more important that they can tell prospects the results you produce rather than howyou create the results.

• When it’s appropriate give your referral source something tangible to pass on to prospects. Often this is a business card but I encourage you to be creative.

I’ve seen business owners use seed packets, double-sided business cards with tips printed on the back, pens with clever sayings, product samples (great if you sell skin care or cosmetics), to name but a few.

Step #4 Implement and Refine

Once you have a good idea of how you will ask your referral sources, start asking.

I recommend that you first try your request out with one or two customers who are your “greatest fans” because they want you to succeed and will give you constructive feedback.

You need to make sure they feel comfortable using the phrasing you created in Step #3. If they aren’t comfortable they won’t use the phrase and they may not send you referrals.

Not because they don’t want to. Because they don’t want to look dumb if they aren’t sure how to tell others about you.

Bottom Line

If you have customers who love what you do then you have customers who sincerely want to send you referrals.

Rather than get hung up on “how” to ask for referrals in a way that doesn’t make you look like a pest, look at the request as a way to help your customers who want to help you!

This is a very different way to think about referrals. It makes your customer a willing partner rather than someone that you are trying to “get” to do something.

No pain, no strain, and best of all, you’ll get referrals.

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